Filed under: Crazy Clowns, Tom Cruise
PRESCRIBING INFORMATION
TOM CRUISE PURPLE (as reported by the NY Daily News)
Generic name: xenujuana
DESCRIPTION
Medical marijuana sold in vials featuring a picture of Tom Cruise laughing hysterically. Also known as most every picture taken of Tom Cruise. Distributed by licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California.
INDICATIONS
An antiemetic for the treatment of nausea and anorexia associated with treatments for cancer, AIDS, and hepatitis. Tom Cruise Purple also treats people who demonstrate signs of normalcy and turns them into laughing loons.
RECOMMENDED DOSAGE
Enough to make patients speak solely in unintelligible acronyms.
SIDE EFFECTS
God complex; alien worship; couch-jumping; bowl haircut that spreads to rest of family; cackling; loss of respect; aversion to psychiatry; homophobia; sudden ability to be only person who can help with accidents and control forces of nature.
Posted by Candy2 ♦ April 4, 2008
At 12:07 pm martini lover said:
this is too awesome. where can i get some?
April 4, 2008
At 12:25 pm 14 said:
You have to come over to my art studio to get it. Better hurry before angry lil’ Tom sends his lawyers and the Scientology Anti-Drug Vice Squad over to bust down my door!
April 4, 2008
At 12:44 pm Dr. L said:
The name of one of the towns in N. Cal. is called
“Grass Valley.” For real.
April 4, 2008
At 1:02 pm Puppet said:
Awww, maaaan. Why’d they have to go and ruin perfectly good weed with this Tom Cruise association?
Marijuana is not criminal. Jesus Cruise is. PUT JESUS CRUISE IN JAIL! 30 to life! No parole! Conjugal visits, sure, but only with John Travolt(y)a!
April 4, 2008
At 1:05 pm BV said:
I’m really disappointed that the Co$ ad at the right is no longer there.
April 4, 2008
At 1:06 pm 14 said:
There’s also a town in Nor Cal called “Weed.” It’s true. Stoners like posing in front of the sign for photo ops.
April 4, 2008
At 2:12 pm Laura @ Hungry and Frozen said:
So *that* explains his freakish smile. Hilarious
April 4, 2008
At 2:53 pm astridhaze said:
I too wish to speak in unintelligible acronyms. I’ll take two!
April 4, 2008
At 3:44 pm midevil said:
Cruise isn’t on dope, man, he’s on E!
April 4, 2008
At 4:16 pm Jenn said:
mmmmmm pot.
April 4, 2008
At 5:40 pm Jenn F. said:
Xenujuana. Classic!
April 4, 2008
At 7:38 pm Eize said:
I need this. I’ve never jumped on the couch like a crazy person before.
April 4, 2008
At 8:49 pm Puppet said:
Excuse me while I get vulgar: Is a Tom Cruise blunt called a Tom Cunt? I’m just askin’.
April 4, 2008
At 9:06 pm bing said:
where can i get some L. Ron Homegrown????
April 4, 2008
At 9:14 pm It’s British Bitch said:
Midevil: He’s on E, but he must also have a horrendous coke habit to be such a meglomaniac.
Puppet: too funny!
April 4, 2008
At 10:41 pm Demon kitty said:
God, I really need to move to Northern California don’t I?
April 4, 2008
At 5:14 am Vern said:
Mid,
does the ‘E’ stand for Extraterrestrial? Ego? Evil? Enron?
“I’m the only one who can help, but I havent
E-nded the war>”
April 5, 2008
At 11:48 pm It’s British Bitch said:
Extraterrestrial! Enron! *maniacal, creepy laugh* or maybe Ectoplasm, Ecclesiastical, Epidemic (of Hollyweird Scientologists), Elf, “Eager Beaver”, ExLax??? Or maybe we should go with the American Slang for MDMA - “X”. Then I can create a new word to describe my deep rooted fear and loathing of Scientologists: Xenuphobia.
April 5, 2008
At 5:37 am Vern said:
Thank you for the clarification Brit Bit!
If Xenuphobia means “fear and loathing of Scientologists” than color me afflicted.
Please don’t get Dr.Phil to help me, as I have a fear of him as well. And I’m skeered of those latter day saints, Bush Klingons (can’t think of the name right now)and really, every religion they’ve got. Perhaps I’m Fuckwadophobic.
April 6, 2008
At 5:50 am Vern said:
Evangelical was what I meant. But I’ll stick by ‘Bush Klingon’ as it offers a host of discusting references.
April 6, 2008
At 10:33 am It’s British Bitch said:
Vern: that’s a powerful image, disgusting references abound, good work! Yeah, I think “Fuckwadophobic” is an umbrella term. The sub-types I suffer from are: ArrogantSlapheadophobic (Dr.Phil), BushKlingonphobic, Polygamistophobic, Xenuphobic, MelGibsonWankFaceophobic, Warmongerophobic and IntelligentDesignophobic.
April 6, 2008
At 1:53 pm Vern said:
Excellent diagnosis Brit Bit!
Good thing we have 14, Candy, and Tom Cruise Purple to “cure” us!
April 6, 2008
At 1:54 pm Puppet said:
“Fuckwadophobic” and “MelGibsonWankFacephobic” are my new favorite words. Thanks(!) Vern and BritBit!
April 6, 2008
At 8:52 am It’s British Bitch said:
Aww thanks Puppet. I have to give Vern 95% of the credit though, I just started firing stuff out (while laughing maniacally) once I read “Extraterrestial, Enron” and then “BushKlingon”. Vern and Tom Cruise Purple are my two muses.
April 8, 2008
At 2:44 pm Bgodley said:
OH MAN where can I get some TCP?
April 9, 2008
At 12:39 pm BoycottTomCult said:
TomKat=TOMCULT. Tom Cruise is an arrogant, miserable phony who worships via the CULT OF SCIENTOLOGY. In his dangerous cult and on the UNCUT DVD, he manically laughs about “cleaning up this place” and EXTERMINATING HUMAN BEINGS. This is vintage Hitler and it is SICK!
Boycott this MANIAC! And you’re all right: his laugh and smile is completely an act and his appetite for attention is endless!
Write or even e-mail ANY and ALL MAGAZINES who cover CRUISE, K-hole and that Asian child (Suri) AND TELL THEM YOU WILL NO LONGER BUY THEIR MAGAZINES if they feature Cruise and TOMCULT!
Start with PEOPLE magazine: editor@people.com
**The Infamous Scientology video they tried to surpress:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0
**CRUISE MANIC on OPRAH:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/28295/tom_cruise_freaking_out_on_oprah/
**CRUISE goes to POT
http://circushour.com/2008/04/04/tom-cruise-goes-to-pot/
Thanks!
May 11, 2008